Whelming: Definition, Characteristics, Causes, and Prevention

What is Whelming?

Whelming is a contemporary practice that originated from the adjective “overwhelmed“, signifying being burdened. This trend involves recounting to your match how your love life is tumultuous, simulating saturation and irritation with the persistence of other suitors, in hopes of piquing the interlocutor's interest. However, it often stems from insecurity and frequently has the opposite effect, revealing a lack of authenticity.

Characteristics of Whelming

Identifying the common characteristics of whelming can help better understand this practice. Pay attention to the following signs:

Exaggeration in the number of suitors
The whelming person tends to paint an exaggerated picture of the number of matches and suitors they receive, seeking to demonstrate “desire” and exclusivity.

Display of irritation
By mentioning other romantic options, the whelming person may show irritation or fatigue, as if overwhelmed by the attention received.

Lack of focus on the interlocutor
The conversation becomes egocentric, with the main focus on romantic conquests and the “unavailability” of the whelming person.

Seeking external validation
Whelming feeds on the admiration and interest of the interlocutor, seeking to feel valued through the “competition” for their attention.

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Causes of Whelming

The underlying causes of whelming are varied and often related to insecurity and the desire for external validation:

Insecurity
The whelming person may have low self-esteem and seek external validation to feel valued and desired.

Need to feel special
Whelming may be related to the need to feel unique and special, standing out from the crowd of suitors.

Fear of rejection
The whelming person may fear committing to a relationship and being rejected, creating a protective barrier through the demonstration of saturation.

Lack of emotional maturity
Whelming can be a sign of emotional immaturity, where the person seeks attention and validation in a superficial and egocentric manner.

Consequences of Whelming

Whelming can have significant impacts on relationship dynamics, often leading to misunderstandings and emotional disconnection:

Distrust and skepticism
The interlocutor may distrust the authenticity of the whelming stance, perceiving manipulation and insecurity behind the attitude.

Lack of interest and distancing
The demonstration of saturation can have the opposite effect, disinteresting the interlocutor and distancing them due to lack of reciprocity and empathy.

Difficulty in forming genuine connections
Focusing on the “excess” of suitors prevents the construction of deep relationships based on mutual trust.

Damage to self-esteem
Seeking external validation can harm the self-esteem of the whelming person, creating a vicious cycle of insecurity and need for approval.

Prevention of Whelming

To avoid whelming in your romantic interactions, consider the following strategies:

Practice self-compassion
Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, valuing yourself as an individual without the need for comparison with others.

Develop emotional intelligence
Work on your self-esteem and learn to handle your emotions in a healthy way, avoiding the search for external validation.

Cultivate empathy
Put yourself in the other person's shoes and imagine how your words and actions can affect people's feelings.

Be authentic and transparent
Express your feelings and expectations honestly and directly, avoiding feigning disinterest or saturation.

Focus on genuine connections
Seek relationships based on mutual trust, respect, and reciprocity, where communication is open and authentic.

Whelming may seem like a strategy to spark interest, but most of the time, it has the opposite effect. Authenticity, on the other hand, is the key to building healthy and lasting romantic relationships.

Value who you are and seek connection based on reciprocity and transparency. True love will find you when you least expect it.